Page 58: VIVA PAPPO, CARAJO!!!!

Montado al Harley cruzó al más allá,
Por esa ruta que apenas se divisa.
Y en su guitarra que no para de sonar
Vibra su alma que siempre estará viva.

Cerveza fresca para su sed
Por esa ciénaga de macadam,
Quién eres tú, forastero?
Bienvenido al mundo nuevo!

Reciban los dioses a nuestro rey de la guitarra
Y concédanle una autopista de fuego,
Que su espíritu no para de cantar
Y a lo alto viajo por su sueño.

Quién espera el tren de las 16?
Quién se divierte andando en Cadillac?
Sucio y desprolijo, el brujo y el tiempo
En sus ruedas de metal.

Temazo que tuve el gusto de escuchar ayer en el Autodromo de Buenos Aires (Con Luciano Napolitano, el hijo del Carpo, como invitado). La verdad, un recital de la puta madre. El lugar, literalmente, estaba lleno. Era increíble ver un mar de gente por todos lados. En un momento me fui para atras para poder tomar un poco de agua, y parecía que no terminaba más. Hubo temas para tirar al tacho, aunque faltaron varios, pero éso pasa casi siempre en los recitales. >No tengo mucho más por decir, salvo que a la vuelta, casi nos pegábamos un tiro al ver que ningún colectivo se dignaba a parar (Uno casi me atropella cuando me puse enfrente para frenarlo), pero pudimos volver, sanos y salvos ^^'. Cuidense, gente, y suerte en sus cosas.

KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE ("AND THE KILLERS WILL DESTROY YOUR LIFE!")

Page 57: Villi People Game Show Questions & Answers!

Hace poco estuve jugando al Earthworm Jim 2, mas precisamente el nivel "Villi People" (Tambien conocido como "Jim's Now A Blind Cave Salamander"), donde controlamos a la salamandra Sally, la cual tiene que "Nadar" por lo que parece ser los instestinos de alguien. La cosa es que este nivel me encanta, no solo por la salamandra (Que cuando toca los pelitos rojos de los bordes pega un alarido muy chistoso!), sino porque en el medio del nivel, hay un "Game Show" de preguntas y respuestas, donde te van tirando preguntas, y tenes 3 opciones para elegir. La cosa es que las preguntas y sus opciones son tan graciosas, que te cagás derisa al leérlas. A continuación, a modo de frikeada extrema, acá tienen todas las preguntas (Son muchas), con sus opciones.
(NOTA: Si no saben inglés, jodanse, porque ni en pedo te paso en castellano las preguntas y sus respuestas. Otra cosa, las respuestas que están en negritas son las respuestas correctas)

What color is Jim's red gun?
A Blue
B Green
C Yellow

How does Jim spell his first name?
A JMI
B MIJ
C IJM

If Dan was stuck in Mexico City, how many days would it take before he would
eat?
A Dan-Food=Time
B Mexican food is evil
C Mexican food is good; Dan is evil

When is Jim's birthday?
A The day he was born
B June 9, 1994
C Today if you have a present

What is Princess What's Her Name's real name?
A What's Her Name
B HEY YOU!
C Chip Butty

Phrase your response in the form of a question.
A Huh?
B No
C Maybe

Can Jim speak French?
A Oui
B Non
C Michelle, ma belle, sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble

Can Jim speak German?
A Ja
B Nein
C Bitte, wo ist die toilette?

Can Jim speak Spanish?
A Si
B No
C Si, aber he nicht el francais hablo, though

Can Jim speak Japanese?
A Hai
B Lie
C O kudasai kori

Can Jim tie himself into a knot?
A No
B Jim has no arms
C He probably can, but he'd only do it to impress girls

Does Jim have piranha in his aquarium?
A A
B B
C Both A and B

Does Jim's mother approve of the girls he dates?
A No, she does not
B Jim never brings any home
C Worms do not have mothers; they reproduce asexually

Can Peter Puppy have a bite of your ice cream sandwich?
A Yes
B No
C Over my dead body

How can you easily complete this level?
A Press reset
B Follow the path of least resistance
C What!? You're almost done!

What Broadway musical is based on annelids?
A Wormlight Express
B Worms
C The Worm of the Opera

Jim is to worm as Jam is to:
A Warm
B Dog
C Butter

Why are we here?
A Ask Buckaroo...
B That's a question for Des Cartes
C Because Scott is coming at 10 AM

Why is this question here?
A Don is hell-bent on getting his name into this game
B Would you care to spin the wheel?
C Don't get smarmy with me, just answer it

Coal is to water as a light bulb is to:
A Water
B Coal
C Wet Coal

If cigarettes cause cancer, what causes Capricorn?
A Poor-fitting shoes in southern France
B Dental floss
C One and one half pounds of butter

Who is the king of the animals in Africa?
A Marimba
B Help, I can't swimba
C Earthworm Jimba

What is the meaning of life?
A Ask Brian
B 42
C Forty-two

Does misery love company?
A None of your beeswax
B No, 3 is company
C No, misery is not mature enough to distinguish between a simple-pre
adolescent crush and true love

In a dogfight between a Spitfire and a Harrier, which plane would win?
A The Spitfire
B The Harrier
C Flamin' Yawn can spit fire, but the queen is harrier.

Use what in place of butter when cooking?
A Shortening
B Lengthening
C Weasel feathers

Who are you?
A Who, who, who, who?
B I really want to know.
C Now tell me--who are you?

I don't get it.
A Neither do I
B And your point is...
C The right answer is often wrong, and the rest don't make sense, so you
   haven't much of a chance anyway.

Seven times seven equals:
A 49
B Forty-nine
C C'mon, I really need this power-up!

W.W.W. stands for:
A Weewy Wascawy Wabbit
B World War Won
C Keep On Truckin'

These walk down stairs, alone or in pairs.
A Shoes
B Toys that were metal but are now plastic and not nearly as cool as they
used to be
C Take a memo

How many donuts are in a dozen?
A 8, by the time you get home
B Do I have to share them?
C 13, if you smile nicely

How fast does Jim's plasma gun fire?
A A bazillion rounds a second
B Infinity
C Once

What exactly is a 'Mojo'?
A A really big cup of coffee
B A tiny Elvis
C A command, as in 'Mojo your own lawn'

Jim's super suit is what size?
A 11n, 34, XL
B M
C One size fits all

What is Earthworm Jim's favorite disco dance step?
A The Hustle
B Wormwalk
C The Funky Cow

During his short-lived rap career, Jim was known as:
A M.C. Sweet N Low
B Ice Cream
C Wormio

Can Psy-Crow beat Jim at arm wrestling?
A Yes
B Jim has no arms
C No

Jim's super suit is:
A Wash and wear
B All-natural fibers
C Filled with healthy and delicious oat bran

What is Jim's favorite magazine?
A Annelid Monthly
B Tiny Elvis Collectors Quarterly
C Playworm

If Jim wasn't an earthworm, what would he be?
A Jim
B A cow
C Not an earthworm

Why are Jim's eyes different in color and size?
A The ladies love it
B Huh? Which one is different?
C It makes him look like David Bowie

Have you read the instruction manual?
A No
B Yes
C Yes, but I can't find where tab A fits into slot B

In college, Jim played what sport?
A Jousting
B Go-Go dancing
C Cricket

When bowling, Psy-Crow needs 7 pins to win. He should:
A Hit reset and get a spare if no one sees
B Aim at the right side of the pins
C Aim at the left side of the pins

What is Jim's second favorite disguise, after 'Blind Sally'?
A Steve's Shop Vacuum
B Nematode Nick
C The Prime Minister of England

Have you seen the Earthworm Jim cartoon?
A Yes
B No
C Cartoon?

What was the answer to the previous question?
A C
B A
C B

What is Jim's favorite fighting game?
A Mortal Wombat IV
B Samurai Slowdown
C Kill Her In Stink

Jim was born in what state?
A Intoxication
B Texas
C A state of shock

What kind of license do you need to fly a pocket rocket?
A Class 'C'
B To kill/Too Ill--> (En algunas versiones)
C You need a license???

In China, this American cartoon character was renamed. There he was called:
A Mickey Mao
B Imperialist Rat-Boy
C Rick Rodent

Psy-Crow is named after which Shiny employee?
A Steve Crow
B Psy Sterling
C Cy Crowmagnon

Where is Jim originally from?
A Texas
B Lost Vegas
C The upper west side of Manhattan

Is Jim dyslexic?
A Sey
B Yes
C No

What is a Chip Butty?
A Some silly English food -- usually with clotted cream
B Something you'll hopefully never have to experience
C A totally rad power-up

What flavor is a cow?
A Milk
B Vanilla
C Just like chicken

Fore!
A Nice shot!
B Four
C 4

Would you like that on account or gift certificate?
A Gift certificate, please
B On account of I'm cool
C I'll take the ceramic Dalmatian for $1500

What is 'The Manta'?
A Isn't that the thing Greg got when the family went to Hawaii?
B A new post-grunge industrial-jazz ska band
C A secret move for Jim

Is there a correct answer for this question?
A Yes
B No
C Yes, the correct answer is A

What food is not available on the streets of New York City?
A Fried worms
B Real beef hotdogs
C English mustard

If 'A' is the correct answer, what is 'B'?
A The wrong answer
B The correct answer
C Neither A nor B

Can I borrow ten dollars but only take five?  That way I'll owe you five
dollars and you'll owe me five and we'll both be even.
A OK
B Huh?
C I don't have any money on me right now

Sometimes the correct answer isn't:
A A
B B
C C

When Peter Puppy gets angry, he:
A Counts to 10
B Acts like he's been 'belted by gamma rays'
C Pretends he's a rock band and trashes hotel rooms

Major Mucus usually has:
A Tons of loose change
B Free Floating Anxiety
C Someone following behind him with a squeegee to clean up the mess

The correct answer is:
A None of the below
B I'm not really sure
C All of the above

Jim's favorite magic trick is:
A Pulling a rabbit out of a hat
B Pulling a worm out of a super suit
C Sawing Psy-Crow in half

Winning a coupon for a discount on something you have to buy is
A Part of the 'Contract With America'
B The way I met my last wife
C Not winning anything

If all the particles in the universe were to collapse to a single point, it
would create a
A Mess
B Black hole
C Bang

Jim makes a good:
A BLT sandwich
B Hood Ornament
C Tasty snack

If I said you had a nice personality, would you
A Be flattered
B Agree
C Hold it against me

Don't worry,
A I can't help it
B That's easy for you to say
C Be happy

When will The Hammer tie the knot?
A Feb 7th, 1997
B 2001 - A True Oddity
C As soon as he gets his 'woodsman' merit badge for knot tying

I think I've heard that before...
A Andy probably told you already
B No, you didn't
C What??

What's a Paradox?
A Yes
B No
C I don't know

Espero que les haya gustado, yo la verdad me reí mucho. Cuidensen, y suerte en sus cosas.


KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE ("AND THE KILLERS WILL DESTROY YOUR LIFE!")